No More Excuses, Guys! It’s Time to Write That Love Letter

I had a terrifying thought today—that one day, AI will write our love letters for us. No muss, no fuss, no effort. It already seems as if too few men “do” romance, but will artificial intelligence simply accelerate the trend away from courtship and romance to even more transactional relationships? Will AI simply become the modern-day equivalent of Cyrano de Bergerac, Edmond Rostand’s tragic character, who was obliged to woo his friend’s love interest (Roxane) on his behalf?

Call me old-fashioned, but through our inaction, romance is languishing. The world needs more love letters. Did you know that many women wish their partners would bring more romance back into the relationship sphere? That they long for more personal, intimate displays of affection, like receiving love letters, flowers, poems, and slower and sweeter courtships, in which their partners have to make some effort to secure their love.

The data seem to prove my hunch that romance is playing less and less a part in modern relationships. The Pew Research Center did a survey of public attitudes about dating in 2020, finding that there is a general sense that dating has become more difficult in recent years (and this was a pre-pandemic survey!). (See I wonder if the responses would be even more disturbing in 2024.

Pew’s survey found that women were much more likely than men to say dating has become harder (55% vs. 39%). The sentiment seems to be that dating is now more impersonal (10%), more difficult, because it is harder to meet people now (10%), too casual (9%), or due to a change in societal expectations, morals or gender roles (8%). Fewer dates and romance have an impact on our intimate lives as well. In 2021, the Center for Social and Demographic Analysis, University at Albany, State University of New York, Albany found that the decline in the formation of romantic relationships was a major factor in the reduction of sexual activity in young people.

Am I the only person who finds this depressing and concerning? That the most fundamental relationships in our lives are drying up because we no longer have the tools, skills, and inclinations for forming and keeping love relationships?

Men and women of the world, it is time to put down the computers and learn how to woo a mate again. Start with a slow approach to getting to know your love interest. Make the effort to show your admiration in small, caring ways. It is the little stuff that adds up to a lasting, caring relationship. And for heaven’s sake, write them some love letters or sentimental cards. Yes, I said, love letters and cards.

There is not a person in the world who does not wish to feel wanted, valued, appreciated, and deeply cared for, and to have these things conveyed verbally as well as in writing. Don’t kid yourself. Love takes time if it is to last for all time. And no, this cannot be achieved by phone alone. This involves having to do some work for your beloved. The world and your lover need your thoughtful, romantic words written on paper to reread and savor time and time again.

Begin with a greeting card or note scribbled on the back of an envelope. See where it leads. When you see their reaction, it should spur you on to keep those cards and letters coming. Small acts of kindness are always welcome, never forgotten and hopefully, will grease the skids for a more passionate and romance-filled life. You are never too old to begin. Give it a try, and watch your love life blossom.